Gerren Keith Gaynor is the Homepage and Opinion Editor at theGrio. A society in which being gay doesn’t feel like a prison sentence or something to hide. While Luther may have lived in the closet, let us honor his legacy by cultivating a better society than the one he knew. Having expectations that prevented him from being out, and proud of the talented and loving man that he was. But it also doesn’t matter much considering the real crime is that Vandross lived his 54 years of life living for others. Should Patti LaBelle have made the decision to confirm Vandross’ sexuality? Maybe not. What we do know is that what kept him in the dark is an industry, and a society, marred by bigotry. Unfortunately we will never know whether or not Luther would have felt empowered enough to come out, as his former J Records boss, Clive Davis, did in 2013. Mariah Carey Listen to your favorite Luther Vandross songs. That alone tells us we still have a long way to go. Official music video for Endless Love by Luther Vandross, feat. Today, Frank Ocean remains the only openly gay Black man in mainstream R&B. Though, in 2017, we are fortunate to see better LGBTQ depictions in media, there’s still little representation in music, especially in the R&B arena. It’s not clear if Vandross ever did find that fairytale love by the time he passed, but even if he did, it’s a shame that he struggled to simply be who he was out front and center. How ironic that a man made famous for singing love songs on world stages, providing a soundtrack of love for generations, never truly knew love for himself.
“I want somebody–who’s not on payroll–to care about where I am.” “It was very painful, unrequited, and alienating–very alienating.”
“The response was, ‘Thank you, but I’m not interested,’” he recalled. His first experience of unrequited love occurred when he was just 16. “The time that I’ve spent being in love has never been reciprocated. In the same Vibe interview, Vandross admitted that he had never been in love. Like any Black gay man, closeted or not, Vandross only desired what anyone wanted out of life: love and happiness. Who would’ve wanted to come out in such a nasty climate? Nothing about being out at that time seemed safe or worthwhile. What’s worse, years later, in 2000, there was an erroneous report that he had died from the disease. Not being candid about his sexuality brought an onslaught of rumors that he had contracted AIDS. “I know that I’m paying a price for being so private…and I do wonder if it’s worth it,” he added. “Am I bicoastal? Yeah, I have houses in Beverly Hills and New York.” In a 2001 interview with Vibe, Vandross jokingly responded to the years-long chatter about his sexuality. In fact, it doesn’t appear Vandross ever really cared that people thought he was gay–he was simply unwilling to confirm or deny it. The tragedy is that he had to hide it in the first place. The tragedy is not that LaBelle outed Vandross without his blessing.
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